Blog has moved!

For anyone that still reads this...  I moved to a Caringbridge page. Go search under KimberlyMorrissey (all one word).     Love to all!   Kim

I'm back!!

          I know it's been quite awhile since I've last posted. But things here are going good.  We just celebrated our 6th Wedding Anniversary, we're in the process of moving, planning Aly's 5th Birthday party, Aly's preschool and dance for her, my weekly appointments and that pesky scare recently of the Leukemia returning, but it was a fluke and I'm still in remission, THANKFULLY!!


       This is short but I'm very tired. I'll get back to posting again very soon.

Good Weekend

       Seems like the weekend has flown by!

 Yesterday I did a ton of laundry and tried to get things somewhat caught up around here. And it was also my last day on the Dex (steroid). It didn't seem to give me as much energy as it has in the past but it sure did give me horrible acid reflux. It has everytime I've been on it and usually goes away within a few days of going off of it.

We have some more stuff to get done around the house today and we are planning on taking the kids to see Santa. I've been nervous about going out around the crowds and all the germs but this is something that we have done every year (with the exception of last year because of me being in the hospital). And this year we're going to check him out at Bass Pro in East Peoria - it's supposed to be pretty nice there.

My next doctors appointment is on Tuesday. And Wednesday Aly has her first Christmas program with school - it sounds like it will be pretty cute and I'm excited to see it.

The kids are loving our elf, Buddy. This morning they woke up and found out he had been up to no good last night and even played a trick on them (I found this idea on Pinterest and thought it was kinda cute). They loved it!!

It's hard to believe Christmas is next weekend!

I forgot to mention...

      I started the steroid, Dexamethasone back up this last Tuesday for five days. I don't know if my body is just starting to adjust to it or what but I definitely haven't had the "climbling the ceiling" feeling the last two times I've been on it. My sleeping hasn't been too bad, really. As I'm awake at almost 4 A.M. posting a blog. But I'm blaming that mostly on my Neuropathy in my feet bothering me so much that I had a hard time sleeping.

So what did I do? I ordered Christmas cards!

Yesterday afternoon I had Aly put on a pretty snow "woman" tutu/pant set and told her I wanted to take her picture. Her reply? Yayyy!! Okay, that was easy.

So while Connor napped I took Aly's picture (or 20 because I'm so picky) in front of the tree. Then Connor woke up and I changed him into his cute snowman shirt and he was okay with the whole deal until he got up from in front of the tree and discovered a piece of garlic bread I had left out from lunch on the counter.

We had spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner the night before and I kid you not, both kids would seriously eat that probably every.single.day if I would let them. So they had it for leftovers for lunch today. : )

So, what did I do? I bribed my 2 1/2 year old son to sit down for a "few" more pictures with that last piece of garlic bread. Hey, it worked!

I tried and tried however to get a good picture of the kids together but yeah, didn't happen. Aly insisted on holding Connor's hand and he would just laugh and look at her. But those there are the "real" memories. That seems to be what actually takes place in our house every day and I just love it.

Another thing from before we went to bed tonight, the kids were brushing their teeth and putting on pajama's and Connor bumped his head on our table in the living room. Without even saying a word, Aly just walked up to him and wrapped her arm around him and kissed his forehead. I about melted. She is such an amazing big sister to him and I love how crazy he is about her. Hopefully it will always stay this way.


Before I go, here are the pictures I'll be using on our cards. I think they turned out pretty cute! : )

  

Time for an update

 I've been slacking big time lately with my blog. It just seems like days are just flying by. Christmas is right around the corner and I still feel like I have a million things to get done.

The kids and I have been doing some Christmas crafts around here and we were working on one earlier but both kids were getting pretty cranky so we'll finish it later. I'll post after it's done. Pretty cute though!

I've had a good couple of appointments since my last post. My counts are staying about the same, not the best but not too low.

This last Tuesday I had a full day. My day started out at 7:30 for bloodwork, 8:30 oncology appointment, 9-ish chemo, then Justin and I went for lunch, and I had a followup with my radiation oncologist at Methodist at 11:30 and then my 16th spinal tap was scheduled for 12:30.

Everything went good at Dr. Vukov's office. My followup with Dr. Carpenter went well also. But he's concerned over the issue with my left eye and having the "floater". He made a referral for me to go see Dr. Catherine Cuite because he's worried I might have a detached retina from the radiation. I tried my best to explain to him how it is to me and then I came across this picture online and it is a pretty good example of what I'm seeing. It's especially visibile while focusing on bright and solid colors.

After that appointment I went up to radiology. I got there and did the routine pregnancy test which must be done before proceeding. Then the nurse asked if I had a preference on which doctor did the procedure and I told her Dr. Chee. She said I lucked out and he was there but in another procedure but could most likely do mine if I waited a little longer. So, I did - about 30 minutes longer and Cliff from Radiology came and got me to go back. I'm very fond of Cliff, he's been in for every spinal tap except for one and he's always been so kind and calming. One reason I like Dr. Chee so much is that he's very personable, he talks about his kids and asks about ours and so on. And another reason is he's the fastest of the four doctors I've had there but he really tries to make sure I'm numb before proceeding. He will numb me up with lidocaine and rub the spot for a few minutes and then numb it some more. And then for the procedure itself he has me lay with my body a little tilted and always goes in between the L4/L5 vertabrae. From there he has to take the bigger needle and puncture the fluid filled sac to get to the spinal fluid, from there he removes the fluid and then inserts the chemo Methotrexate. The whole procedure doesn't take too long but the worst part of the whole thing is trying to get through all my built up scar tissue. Every doctor that has done this on me has that issue. And then I'm off to recovery for an hour and then discharged.

Tuesday is always our super busy day, especially when I have all these things crammed in and Aly also has dance that night. So since I had my spinal I had to come home and rest and Justin took Aly to dance (and Connor went to bed early) and it was also pajama night/watch week. But I know from previous experiences, if I don't go lay right back down I will have a horrible headache the next day (that usually will last about a week). So I stayed home and took it easy and didn't get a headache. 

The weather was decent this last Sunday so I went to Bloomington and took a pretty Christmas wreath for my Mom's grave. It was so hard. As soon as I turned on the road to get to the cemetary I lost it. Justin asked if I wanted him to go with but I just needed to do this by myself. And I knew I was going to have a long week and didn't know if I would be able to make it back in before Christmas. It was so hard. Not having her here for Christmas is definitely not going to be easy, I know that. But I just keep reminding myself that she's not in pain anymore and is in a better place. But I miss her so much.

I wish we would get some snow. Yes, I really did just say that. We've had a ton of rain lately it seems and here we are right before Christmas with no snow. I've never really cared too much for snow but since we've had kids and just how excited they get over it, I like it (just not 5 feet of it!). Last week we had a tiny bit come down and I knew Connor was already asleep in his room but Aly was awake in hers so I ran in and got her and showed her it on our deck and she was just in heaven! Her eyes just lit up! And it was all gone by the next afternoon.
      
Well, other than all that not too much has been going on. Just busy around here like usual. Trying to get the rest of the Christmas stuff done. It's going to be here very soon!


Hope everyone is having a Happy December!




Kim

The Evolution of Leukemia Treatment

  I just came across this and thought I would post it. To me, it's pretty interesting.

Tired.

       I'm so tired. Actually, that doesn't even begin to come close to how I'm feeling.

Before starting the radiation Dr. V told me to expect exhaustion about a week or so after I was done. Well, he was right (I never doubted him). I have no energy to do anything. I've been trying to take it easy but it's just so hard have two little kids.

Today is the first day of our Advent calendar so I forced myself to get everything done for it (all the papers cut out, written out, and put into the pockets) but I honestly didn't even feel like doing something as simple as that. I plan on starting it tonight with the kids.

My appointment with LH went well Tuesday. My white count is down to 1.59 but my platelets and hemoglobin are okay. I started the chemo pills back up (6 MP and oral Methotrexate) back up. And I'm still scheduled to have my next spinal on December 13th, she had talked to Dr. V about possibly delaying it one week because we know how much my counts drop with it, but she talked to him and he wants me to go ahead and stick with that day. I'm okay with that, and if my counts do drop a lot - which I expect - than I'll have enough time to get in for blood or platelets before Christmas. I'm so excited for Christmas this year, so I'm hoping and praying that everything works out good.

All in all it was a good appointment. Another thing, I thought I would only be having one more year for maintenance therapy but I was wrong, I'll have two more years. Whatever keeps me in remission though. : )

I seriously cannot remember the last time I felt this tired. I'm waiting for Justin to get home from work and then we are doing a simple dinner. Very simple.

I will go back in next week to have blood drawn to check my counts and then my next appointment is on the 13th, I'll be starting back on Vincristine that day also.


Kim

A few more pictures

     Every week during radiation they had to take new x-rays. These pictures were taken during my first week of treatment but I thought they were pretty interesting. These were taken with Justin's cell phone so I'm sorry if the quality isn't the best.

All over the place post...

       Things around here have been great. I'm feeling pretty good. Tired and busy, but good and grateful.

We have Comcast for our internet and home phone and have recently been having issues with it. We couldn't figure out for anything what was causing the problem because Comcast said it wasn't on their end and it wasn't on ours and because of our busy days we couldn't have them out during the week and were finally able to have them out this last Saturday. The guy came out and figured out right away what the problem was - he went into our backyard and I guess the connector box that is right between our house and our neighbors, had been disconnected. I guess a neighbor had recently had their service turned off and instead ours was turned off by mistake. So we went a week and a half without service! I was so irritated, but atleast they were able to get it fixed and our account is being credited for that time we went without service.

I haven't posted since my last appointment. My white count had gone up from 0.53 to 7.51 in ONE week. Thank you very much, Neulasta shot. I may just be asking for another one right before Christmas - it will raise my white count and lasts for fourteen days.

I have an appointment tomorrow with the NP Laura Hertz. I'm curious to see what my counts are right now.

I am DONE with the brain radiation. SOOO glad. That was tough, and going in there everyday was so hard. Walking into that hospital brings back so many memories, from days when my Mom was there at different times, to my hospitalization last December, all my procedures, and so on. And then just walking in there everyday.

Right at the end of radiation I started to lose my hair. I lost it all in the exact spots I had the radiation. But then some spots still had bits and pieces of hair. It looked weird. So one night I had Justin shave it and this is by far the shortest it's ever been in the three times I've lost it in the last year. My head is officially bald - but then tonight we noticed that in one spot on the back of my head it was starting to come back in a tiny bit. I was joking around with Justin and told him that it actually looked like a mustache on the back of my head, so I had him shave that part again. And, once again this just proves how awesome he is - the Sunday night we shaved my head he did his also. He's shaved his head each time I've lost my hair. He told he thought I looked beautiful and very brave (as I was crying and looking in the mirror).   Now we just will have to wait and see if my hair comes back in - with brain radiation there is the risk of hair never coming back in or if it does it might just come in in patches. So time will tell. And for now, I'm wearing a winter hat when I go to bed at night. My head gets so cold at night since we sleep with fans on - Justin thinks it looks cute but hey, it works. : ) 

Speaking of hats, I'm looking for a red hat and scarf. So far I haven't had much luck but I'm still looking so if anyone sees one somewhere please let me know. Thanks!

I'm not really feeling too bad. Nothing a thirty minute nap during the day won't fix. But, I am having an issue with my left eye. I finished radiation last Tuesday (12 treatments total) and didn't have this until my last treatment. I can see something out of my left eye and it looks like a small gray line that is folded (it's hard to explain). I can only see it when I really focus on something and can see it in great detail when my eyes are looking straight forward and as soon as I turn my eye it goes off to the side. I'm hoping this will go away and soon, it's more annoying that anything. At first I thought it might just be something on my contact but it's still there when I have my contacts out. I plan on bringing it up tomorrow at my appointment.

We had a great Thanksgiving! We all ate so much and just had a great day! : )

Yesterday we put up our Christmas tree and decorations. I'm so excited for Christmas this year. The kids are really getting into the spirit and I'm so happy! We brought out Buddy the Elf (Elf on the Shelf) on Thanksgiving and the kids love hunting him down every morning. It's almost time to start our Advent calendar and I'm just so excited!!  

I think I'm going to do majority of our Christmas shopping online this year, that way I can avoid the crowds and all the germs. I'm even more paranoid about germs now, but I have to be.

I need to finish up the kids' Christmas lists for a few people, if you haven't heard from me yet, I'm sorry. I'll get it done and sent sometime tomorrow. And we also have to "mail" Aly's letter to Santa tomorrow. It's been such a long year and I'm so excited for Christmas and the New Year.


Off to bed! Goodnight.

Feeling a little better...

  


       My fever finally broke late Friday early Saturday morning. I felt pretty decent yesterday and felt like I had a little bit of energy back. Until today. Kids slept in a little so we did also. Now the kids are eating lunch while Justin mows and hangs up Christmas lights (before it gets really cold) and I feel like I could seriously crash - go back to bed and sleep, sleep, sleep.


      I had a long and hard cry last night. I've just had many emotions and feelings running through  my mind lately. From the radiation treatments and it just seems the farther into treatment I get the more anxiety I have, missing my Mom so much and knowing the kids won't know her growing up - especially Connor, to my seriously neverending medical bills,  and just so much more.

       I just feel drained. I was told to expect fatigue and with my white blood count still being low I'm just exhausted.


    I plan on putting the kids down for rest time in a bit and taking a little rest myself.


   Kim

Update

          This post is going to be short. I'm pretty sick right now and hardly have any energy to do anything.

Monday night I started feeling pretty sick. Nauseated and spiked a temp. It ranged between 99.7 and 101.2. From past experiences, I know a fever while on chemo is not good.

Justin called Dr. Vukov's and Dr. Carpenter's and the radiation was put on hold yesterday until I went in for bloodwork and my weekly appointment.

Well, my counts are still pretty bad. Even worse than last week. That is one big reason I'm feeling so crummy.

White Blood Cells
0.53 (normal range is 4.26 - 9.66)

Red Blood Cells
2.76 (normal range is 4.20 - 6.02)

Hemoglobin
9.5 (normal range is 11.5 - 16.0)

Platelets
89 (normal range is 133- 382)


Between the brain radiation and my extremely low white count I am completely exhausted. Actually, exhausted is an understatement.

I went in yesterday and was put on an antibiotic (Ciprofloxacin) to get this fever gone but they don't think I actually have an infection going on anywhere. They think that since I'm having a fever it's from my body trying to fight off anything and everything that is trying to invade my body right now since I basically have zilch for infection fighters.

I also have no appetite for anything. Nothing sounds good. I'm trying to force myself to eat.

Same thing happened when I was in the hospital from Dec. to Jan. and I lost my appetite and ended up losing 48 lbs. in one months time.

I've pretty much been sequestering myself to our bedroom to rest as much as possible and to avoid germs (pretty tough with a 2 year old and a 4 year old running around)! But Justin's been fantastic with letting me rest as much as possible.

I was also given a shot of Neulasta in my stomach to hopefully boost my white blood cells. Hoping it works!!


Okay, longer than I planned but I wanted to give everyone an update.


4 radiation treatments down, 8 more to go!

Second Treatment

   I had my second treatment today and I was in and out within 30 minutes. The radiation itself only takes about 30 seconds on each side. And I seriously think the worst part of the whole process is wearing that mask.

All went well with it. But from my first treatment yesterday I was just exhausted from the headache I had afterwards. I talked to the radiology techs and they told me that the headache can happen since they are focusing solely on my head/brain. They said that the radiation can cause my brain to swell and cause it to rub against my skull creating the headache. The headache I had after yesterday's treatment was awful. I felt intense pain from temple to temple and then towards the end of the headache I felt like I was having pain at the back of my head. It was just awful. I took some medicine and went to bed early and Justin took care of the kids and put them to bed. Around 8 A.M. I noticed it was starting to go away...

And then I had treatment at 2 P.M. and it was back very soon after. So I called Justin's parents and asked if they minded me keeping the kids over there a bit longer and I came home and took it easy. It's now almost midnight and I still have the headache. It's not as severe as the one I had last night.

But they told me that especially since I have a history of seizures that I need to watch these headaches extra close.

I'll post more later with more details on how my first day went, my appointment with Dr. Carpenter, and a few more pictures from my first treatment. But right now I'm going to bed and hoping this headache goes away.


Kim

First Treatment

    All went fine with my first treatment of radiation today. I'm completely exhausted though and have a terrible headache so I'm going to bed but I will post more tomorrow. My second treatment is scheduled for 2 o'clock tomorrow afternoon.


   Goodnight.


    Kim

2 P.M.

   That's what time I have my appointment at Methodist. I'm so nervous...


   Today it's cold and dreary out - I've spent most of the morning snuggling with the kids and trying to keep my mind off this afternoon.

   I'll post again tonight.

Appointment and Mask

     I went in yesterday and had my normal appointment and saw the NP, Laura. My appointment went well but my counts weren't the best. My white count was 0.71 and my platelets were 141. As she put it, my counts are in the gutter (due to my most recent spinal tap and the oral chemo pills I'm taking at home). Because of my white count being low I just need to be extra cautious since I don't have any infection fighters right now, so pretty much wherever I go that is public I have to wear a mask.

They had no problems whatsoever getting good blood flow from my port. I'm so glad! They drew blood and then flushed it with heparin and when the NP went to look at it it wasn't sticking up near as much as it had been. But I still just need to keep a close eye on it.

I knew it was about time to start the radiation therapy. So after my appointment we left there and then Justin had a doctors appointment himself and then we went to Methodist. I had a cat scan done and then had the mask made for the therapy. This morning the radiation oncologist, Dr. Carpenter, reviewed the images and then gave me the go ahead to start tomorrow (they weren't sure they were going to be able to proceed with starting this week because of my low counts). So I go in tomorrow at 2 o'clock. I'll have a total of 12 sessions. 2 days this week, M-F next week, and then M-F the following. Each session is only supposed to last about 15 minutes.

But I'm a nervous wreck!  The mask molding/fitting was terrifying. It is put on wet and dries to your face within a matter of minutes, but it just gets tighter and tighter. At one point of the whole process I could feel my heart pounding through my face - I felt so scared and just wanted to throw my arms up and be done. But I didn't. I know this is just one more thing I need to do. At one point, the radiation tech came over the speaker to talk to me and ask me to turn my head a little to the left and I tried but there was just no way - the mask was dry and rock hard and also bolted to the table. Talk about feeling scared!!

I wanted to have some pictures for this blog so I asked Justin to take some for me.

So here you go. The "pillow" I'm laying on was specially molded for my head also. If you want to see larger pictures, you can click on them and they will enlarge.

A radiation tech, Bob, taking pictures also for their records. He was so nice and made the entire process much easier!

All marked and ready for Thursday.

Happy Halloween!

       Aly had her Halloween party and parade and it was beyond adorable!

Afterwards we did lunch and then we went and watched the young Marine, Jordan Bastean, return to Pekin after losing his life fighting in the war a little over a week ago. It was so sad and my heart goes out to his family and friends during this difficult time.

I was called this morning from a nurse about the issues with my port. They wanted me to go in and have it checked out today so I went in and saw a NP named Judy and she said she thinks the line has just moved from all the scar tissue I have built up from all the procedures I've had done (2 picc lines, liver biopsy, having the port placed, etc.) and said she thinks it's fine but she wants for me to have it checked out more tomorrow (at my normal scheduled appointment) by another NP and to see how it does with blood flow. So we'll see...I'm hoping it's fine. I'm so used now to having my port accessed and used for everything that when it was mentioned about me possibly having to have my blood drawn peripherally I seriously cringed.

The kids went up to their Great Grandparents tonight for trick or treating and had a great time spending that time with everyone. And afterwards I took them to do some more trick or treating and then brought them home. We brushed their teeth extra good from all that candy they had tonight and they crashed! Long day!

I'm exhausted also. So I'm off to bed. Hoping all looks good tomorrow with my port and my counts!!

Port issues...

     I haven't posted in a few days. I've had a pretty low key week which has been nice.

Until last night. I stayed up late and watched a movie in bed and then after it was over I got ready to go to sleep. I got nice and comfortable and then scratched my neck and noticed the "line" from my dual power port in my chest seemed like it was bunched up (I don't know the medical term for this so I just call it the line, it's what connects my port to my jugular vein). So much for starting to doze off, I went into full panic mode and woke Justin up and he said he could definitely tell a difference in it also. I could literally wrap my fingers around the line where it felt like it was bunched up. I wasn't having any pain with it but still very concerned, so I called the after hours line and talked to Dr. Shawn Seibert. It was late (2 A.M.) and I feel bad calling and waking him up (he was the on call doctor) but this was something I just couldn't chance in case I needed to head to the hospital. He said that as long as I'm not having any pain at the location or showing obvious symptoms that it's okay and to call Dr. Vukov's office on Monday. He said it does happen, ports can move or become dislodged. He said my doctor will take a look at it and then decide if I need to have surgery to have it re-attached. AHH!!

I've never had any issues with my port and it's definitely something I am still so glad I've had done. It's used to draw blood from, for when I have blood and platelet transfusions, and to receive chemo treatments. Some people are pretty surprised to hear I have a dual port instead of single but my oncologist said this one would be best for me due to all the chemo I would be receiving. SO much easier than constant iv's.

So I'll be calling first thing tomorrow morning to try and get this all taken care of...


I'm off to bed. Tomorrow is Halloween! I'm a room Mom and Aly has her school party and then parade of all the preschoolers in their costumes and I'm pretty excited!  : )  Then tomorrow night we're taking the kids to see family and for trick or treating.



Kim

Finally!

   Feeling better (for the most part!). My body is pretty achy right now from going off the steroid but other than that things are okay. No appointments this week, I seriously cannot remember having a week without a doctors appointment!

 Aly had her Halloween dance/costume party last night. She loved it! I'll post a few pictures soon.

I was hoping Connor would nap today because he has a major case of the crankies but I don't think that's going to happen. So I guess instead him, Aly, and I will all watch Tangled together for the millionth time.

         : )   Kim

The house is quiet...

       Both kids are sound asleep. Justin is asleep. I have 20/20 that I recorded the other night on in the background just for a little bit of noise. But my mind is just running.

I'm not ready for the weekend to be over. They always go by way too fast.

Yesterday didn't go as planned. I met up with my three sisters to decide on what headstone we wanted for Mom's grave (my brother said he wanted to leave this up to us girls to decide on so he didn't go with). We all agreed on one that we loved but then one changed their mind so nothing ended up getting ordered. It was tough. It was tough even walking in that place knowing what we had to do, but then leaving and knowing that what was supposed to get accomplished didn't was even harder. It's all just so final. I don't have any hard feelings towards my sister Connie over this, she is grieving in her own way. As we all are. I miss my Mom every minute of everyday. But one thing I always think about is that Connie took care of my Mom for the most part at her house before she was hospitalized the last time. As everyone knows, none of my siblings are close at all.  Even though we very rarely talk I still wonder how each is doing all the time, and I think of Connie. She has to be having such a hard time with this because she has to walk back into the house that our Mom was at so much of the time towards the end of her life. Again, I don't harbor any hard feelings towards her. We all need to do this for our Mom, and I know it will get done. But it's just tough.


I'm still sick with this cold. I'm assuming that I'm not getting better as quick as I usually do when I have a cold is because of being on the steroid. It seems like one day I'll feel a little better and then the next day I'll feel kinda crummy again. But I am off of it now so we'll see how I feel tomorrow and if not better than I'll call Dr. V's.


I always worry. I can't help it, I've always been this way.

I ended up starting to show signs right around this time last year of being sick -  but I didn't know it was cancer. My symptoms all seemed like a bad cold that just wouldn't go away. And then the enlarged lymph nodes appeared on my neck and I think I "knew" it was something more. I know my oncologist is right on top of everything and all is fine. But my mind still wanders back to a year ago. I can't live my life living in fear of the "what if's" and so on but still. I'm making sense in my own mind right now, not so sure I'm getting it explained so well though here. Do you know what I'm saying?

But one thing I do know for sure if that I am incredibly thankful to be here. To worry and all.  ; )


I'm tired. Aly has school in the morning and I think I'm going to try and get some sleep.


Goodnight.   



  

Random

My cold seems to be getting a little better. I'm so glad!

My mouth sores are rearing their ugly head again. I totally forgot about making my mouth ice cold when I had the Vincristine on Tuesday. So far they aren't too bad and are just on the inside of bottom lip.

I am seriously in love with the new show 2 Broke Girls on CBS. That show cracks me up. I just wish it was longer than 30 minutes once a week. I think I say that everytime I watch it.

Today I slacked big time and let Aly watch a lot more tv in one day than she usually does. Neither her or Connor watch much tv but since I wasn't feeling the best this morning I let her watch two Disney movies. Aladdin and Tangled. She LOVES both and is currently obsessed with Princess Jasmine and Rapunzel. And every other Disney Princess out there.

I'm making Christmas lists for the kids. Family members have been asking and I feel so excited to be doing it this year.

Brr...it's definitely getting cold out. I'm not ready for cold weather. At all. I think we might need to get the kids winter coats this weekend.

Aly's Halloween costume is so pretty! I'm anxious to post pics but I need to find her some shoes to match it before I take any pictures. For the last couple of years I've bought Aly cute glittery shoes from Target. They come in assorted colors. I'm thinking about picking her up a pair from there that will match her costume and I know she'll get plenty of wear out of.  And Connor's - I might have already mentioned it but his is perfect for him! He even does this perfect little "roar" to go with it. And nope, he isn't going to be a lion. That was last year. : )

I'm thinking about trying to make Chicken Enchilada soup *possibly* tomorrow. I love it from Chili's and I have the exact recipe. Everyone that knows me knows I do not like to cook unless it involves a crockpot so this sounds pretty easy.

Without going back to my last blog I can't remember if I had mentioned it or not, but Dr. V started me back on the steroid, Dexamethasone, at this last weeks appointment. My sleep is so out of whack right now. I take two in the morning and one in the evening and so sleep is not going very well. Usually I have a huge spurt of energy while on it but not this time. I'm pretty sure it's from being sick this week. I'll go off of it on Sunday and if things go like they usually do, I'll probably be hurting pretty bad a few days afterwards for a couple of days. Just body aches mostly from going off of it.  

...

My sisters and I are meeting up this Saturday morning to order my Mom's headstone. I'm not ready to do this. But it's time. Last week I was told that even if it was bought then than it still wouldn't be able to be placed until atleast January. I know Saturday is going to hard. Justin offered to go with but this is just something I feel like I need to do. None of my siblings really get along and I know he just wants to be there to support me but I just feel like I need to do this "on my own". And I'm thinking about possibly going to Bloomington afterwards to the cemetery.

I really miss my Mom.



Okay, I'm going to try and get some sleep.