Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Almost 6 months ago.

   Earlier I was thinking that June 8th will be 6 months since I was diagnosed. 6 very long months. One month of that time I spent in the hospital and lost a ton of hair especially on the top of my head due to the rough chemo I was going thru. Since then I've been wearing a ton of hats and trying to cover that up. But after that long month of losing almost all of my hair it's been growing back. Especially in the last month or two. My hair is coming back in unevenly since it's curly and I'm so glad to see it. After first being diagnosed I told myself it's just hair. Nothing else. But after losing it it really affected me so bad. I've always had long hair and I just missed it. So I'm glad to see it coming back. I'm surprised it's coming back in so fast while I'm still going thru chemo. I feel like everywhere I go people see me and just see a woman in hat with not much hair and that I have cancer written all over my face. I hate that.

 But now I look at myself as a warrior and know I had to lose my hair, gain confidence, battle this cancer, and climb the hill to get where I am at today. I was diagnosed June 8th and went into remission within just a few weeks. I'm very thankful to be where I am today. Even if I was completely bald right now I'd still feel that way.

I'm going to bed now. My sweet hubby is next to me in bed snoring and I just look at him and know how thankful I truly am (loud snoring and all!). Felt like getting some thoughts out tonight.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Lemon water...

   Tonight I wanted a slice of fresh watermelon so bad. So I ran to Kroger and bought a small one and came home. Along with grapes and a cantaloupe. I love fresh fruit!

I really push for the kids to eat their fruits and veggies and I'm so glad they are both good eaters and aren't too picky unlike ahem, their Mama. : )

So I came home and shared a piece of that juicy and sweet goodness with our precious Aly. I told her that the white seeds were okay to eat (this one just had the white seeds - no black ones). And I told her that she was going to start growing watermelons in her tummy...something I remember my Mom telling me when I was little and I look back now on and smile. And she kept calling it "lemon water". Sweet girl.

A memory I will forever cherish, this hot day and sharing a piece of watermelon with our sweet girl.




   

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Taking it easy...

   I haven't done much of anything this last week. I took it pretty easy. I had chemo and my appt. with Dr. Vukov on Tuesday and that all went very well. : )  He said he's very impressed with how I'm doing which was wonderful to hear! He did start me on an antibiotic called Leucovorin to try and prevent the mouth and throat sores from coming back with the chemo cycle and I actually just finished it today. So far it has worked from having any more appear but I'm still trying to get the ones in my throat from before to go completely away. I had also lost 11.5 pounds from not being able to eat much due to the sores from before.

We were supposed to go to my niece Kailey's  college graduation party today but I woke up this morning feeling crummy and I've been fighting a cold all week so we didn't end up going. I felt so bad missing it but I'm sure she understood. She's growing into such a remarkable young woman and I'm so proud of her! I think of her as a little sister and love her so much.

This cold isn't bad, thank goodness, but I'm still taking it easy. I've been taking Robitussin DM and Zyrtec for it. I'm very limited on what I can take since I'm on Keppra (an anti-seizure med).

Aly started tot soccer this last Thursday and she had a great time! The weather was chilly and rainy outside so they ended up having it inside the arena. I'm guessing there are about eight little girls on her purple team and all they really do is chase the soccer ball around but it's still pretty cute! : ) We should be getting a call soon from Dianne for Aly to start the summer dance class. Can't wait for that!

Connor's birthday was May 19th and we still haven't had a birthday party for him. Seems like we've had so much going on lately and when we've had a break one of us has been sick. I'm still trying to figure out when to do a small party for him (to celebrate our sweet boy turning two!). Very soon though.

I have chemo and another spinal tap (my 6th) this coming Friday. I'm feeling nervous about this upcoming spinal tap because of this horrible from the last one I had. Out of my five previous I've had two headaches but they are the worst thing ever, just so much pain and pressure. Please say a prayer for me on Friday morning to have an easy day and to not get a headache, when I get these headaches they keep me in bed for almost a week and not able to do much. Thank you! : )

Oh, before I forget! While I was setting up my upcoming appt. this last Tuesday there was a receptionist that said she had a surprise for me. I had no idea what it could be. Then she opened a drawer and pulled out a purse for me! She said a lady had been in the week before and had bought 30 purses from a seller and was donating them to women going thru chemo in memory of her Father that had passed away. I was so surprised!  Here is a picture of my new purse. : ) This was taken from the Miche bag website. I love all the sayings on it. "Attitude makes all the difference", One does not define hope, one lives it" and so on. Love it!! Gayle said she thought of me and saved one for the next time I would be in. How nice! Another nice thing, a little while later a nurse came up to me and gave me some coupons she had saved for me for free smoothies or frozen lemonades from McDonald's - she said she's seen me with both in there before and knew I liked them. What nice people!! And a big thank you to Justin's Grandma Mary Lou for sending me in the mail one of those coupons for McDonald's - everyone knows how much I love my cold drinks!





   Hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day weekend!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Just an update

   My days are so mixed up - I keep thinking it's Sunday for some reason. When it's actually Monday.


This last weekend went by so fast! Saturday Justin and I had plans for a date and it was SO nice. We very rarely have the chance to get out (mostly because of my counts being low and just taking the chance of me getting sick). We dropped the kids off and their grandparents and went and saw the movie Bridesmaids and then went to Flat Top for dinner. I really enjoyed the movie but dinner on the other hand, was just difficult. I absolutely love Flat Top (one of my favorite restaurants) but I could barely eat anything. I'm still dealing with these awful mouth sores. I haven't ate much in days now and I know I've lost more weight. I just wanted to sit there and cry. But then I reminded myself how thankful I am to be where I am and very much enjoyed my time with Justin. Afterwards I was just so drained that we came home and napped for a little while and just relaxed. Aly and Connor spent the night with the grandparents and had a great time. I missed our babies so much but I knew they were having a good time (along with Butch and Carrie!).  : )

On Sunday we slept in and then got up and I tried to eat some leftovers from Flat Top that I had brought home. I choked down a few small pieces of chicken but didn't eat much. Afterwards we went and picked up the kiddo's and came home. It was so good seeing the kids!! Connor was ready for a nap and crashed about 2 minutes into going in his crib and napped for a good while. And Justin, Aly, and I snuggled in our bed and watched Bambi and Tinkerbell movies while it poured outside. Great Sunday afternoon!

And then...today Justin and I both woke up sick. : (  He has a stomach bug and I have more of a bad cold.

So tomorrow is Tuesday and I have an appt. with my oncologist for just the normal checkup, blood work, and then chemo afterwards. I'll find out what my counts are and if I'm going to need blood or platelets. One of my questions for this appointment is if there is anything else I can do to prevent these mouth sores (besides the eating ice during the actual chemo, constantly rinsing my mouth, and so on before they appear). These have been horrible. I started the Nystatin mouth rinse on Thursday night and can see a difference as of this morning, for the sores in my mouth. But not so much for the ones in my throat. Those are the ones that make it so difficult to swallow food or liquids. Today I was able to actually eat an ice cream bar and a small bowl of chili - that's the most I've ate in days! But I know I've lost weight in the last week and I'm curious as to what will be said tomorrow about that.

Tomorrow afternoon is our little man's 2 year appointment with his pediatrician. I really hope I feel up to going with Justin to this. And this coming Thursday our little Aly starts soccer. Another busy week ahead!

I'm heading to bed.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Frustrated

    I called my doctor's office this morning because my mouth is much worse today than yesterday. They called me back a little while later and told me they were calling a prescription in for me. So I called Walgreens to make sure it was ready before heading there and it was. BUT...what the girl forgot to tell me was that I wouldn't be able to pick it up because when it was called in they weren't told how much for me to take at a time. Ugh.

 My mouth feels like it's raw. My nurse practioner has told me to watch out for thrush in my mouth and I'm pretty sure I have it. I always use a straw to drink out of and right now I can't even do that unless I tilt my head to the side and try to drink out of the side of my mouth. Talk about frustration. On top of all that, now the mouth sores are coming back in my throat so eating is not going very well either.

Now I'm just waiting on a call back from my doctor's office and hoping they can get this figured out with Walgreens.

Needed to vent.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Catching up...

    Seems like it's been forever since my last post. Lately I've felt like we've been going non-stop and I haven't had too much of a break. And when I do I mostly want to sleep. Ha!

After the Mother's Day post - I ended up keeping the kids home by myself for a few days instead of having them go to daycare and it was so nice. That Monday I took both kids out to my sister Connie's and we visited with her and my Mom. It was so nice! Then Justin stayed home a few days with an awful migraine and finally went to the doctor and had a sleep apnea test ordered and also a specialized eye test to check the muscles of his eye. Then on last Friday I had my oncology appt. and then chemo that morning and Aly had her dance rehearsal at the Civic Center that night. And on Saturday night she had her recital. She did so good and looked absolutely adorable!! I'll post some pictures tomorrow.

Today I had a cbc to check my counts to determine if I would need to go in for a transfusion and my platelets were a 71 and my hemoglobin was an 8.5. My platelets have increased since last Friday which is great and my hemoglobin was pretty good also considering I just had chemo. So the nurse called my doctor and then told me I wouldn't need to go for blood or platelets and I was so glad! And while I was there, Justin was at the eye doctor and had his eyes dilated and then I drove him to work. The eye doctor said this is all signs of migraines and didn't see anything else going on which is good to hear (just wish those pesky migraines would go away for him!).

The mouth sores are back and in full force and excuse my language, but they hurt like hell. This time they are on the inside of my top and bottom lips and I feel like I'm starting to get some in my throat again. There really isn't much I can do for them. I was prescribed some BMX solution and it seriously tastes like spoiled milk. Seriously. All it does is numb my entire mouth for about 20 minutes and makes me feel like I just walked out of the dentist's chair (it contains Lidocaine, Benadryl, and Maalox). And I have also been told to gurgle salt water but all it does is make me gag, it's supposed to keep infection away so I will continue to use it. But if I'm in as much pain with these sores tomorrow as I am now I plan on calling my doctor's office. My mouth is so sore that earlier tonight when I brushed my teeth before bed I thought I was going to cry it hurt so bad.

So I'm eating lots of ice and drinking lots of cold drinks. I'm addicted to Cherry Limeaids from Sonic. : )

Tomorrow is a big day! Our sweet little boy is turning TWO years old! I can't believe he's already 2. He was born at 6:57 A.M. on May 19th and we feel so blessed having him in our lives. He definitely has a very spunky personality! We love him so much!!

I'm going to try to go to bed. Hoping I can get some sleep tonight! I'll work on uploading pictures tomorrow.
  

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

   Today I got to sleep in and Justin got up early with the kiddies. When I woke up Aly's first words to me were "Happy Day" (she forgot to add Mother's in there). I feel very blessed today seeing my sweet babies and being their Mama.

Justin surprised me and got me a gift certificate to use towards jewelry of my choice from Carlson's in Peoria Heights!! I'm thinking about getting another forever bracelet (one for my left wrist) and having the kids birthstones put in it. I already have 2 on my right wrist and love them!!

Justin went and picked up Subway for lunch and I could barely eat any of it. My mouth started feeling sore yesterday and is feeling even worse today. So I called my doctor's office and I was right - sounds like I have mouth sores from the chemo. This is the first time I've had them this entire time I've been having chemo treatments but man, they do not feel good. And I also have some in my throat. So the NP called in a prescription for me and Justin picked it up also. After using it it feels like I have just walked out of the dentist's office, my mouth is so numb. Hoping this passes soon.

This last Tuesday was chemo and a spinal tap. On Wednesday was a 2 bag blood transfusion at Methodist and all went well both days. On Wednesday morning I started feeling like a bad headache was coming on. By late that day, a full headache was here and I was in absolute misery. I know exactly what it was from - the spinal on Tuesday. I've had one of these before and they are the worst ever - just feels like I have a ton of pressure at the base of my skull. It hurts to move or do anything. So I took it easy and it finally passed and I started to feel better yesterday.  This was after I called my doctor and Methodist to find out what to do. Methodist told me to drink lots of fluids and take Excedrin (which I cannot take because it interacts with my Keppra - my anti seizure medicine that I started after my 5 seizures on Christmas Eve. and some other meds). My doctors office told me to take vicodin, drink a ton of caffiene, and to lay flat and not use any pillows. Anyone that knows me I hate taking medicine anyways, especially any meds for pain. But I resorted to it. I was in complete and total misery. And then, last night my back started hurting really bad where I had the spinal. I was feeling so frustrated and just in pain - but it has gone away for the most part today. So glad.

I haven't felt great (obviously) all week so that's why it's been awhile for a post. I'm going to lay down for a little bit and then we have plans with family for dinner at Olive Garden. Hoping my mouth and throat feels better by then!



Kim

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Appointments and watermarks

  Whew. What a long day. I woke up this morning knowing I had my weekly oncology appointment. What I didn't know was that I would be starting chemo and would be having a spinal tap both done today. We found this out when we went in for my appointment and were a little caught off guard and surprised. I also was told I would need to go Methodist tomorrow for a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin was at a 7 (has even been down to a 5 before and this was something I did expect to hear). My doctor has decided he wants me to try Vitamin B6 to see if it helps any with the Neuropathy in my hands and feet. I had a good appointment and then had the chemo and afterwards we went to the hospital for a type and cross for the transfusion tomorrow and then had the spinal tap. The same doctor that did my dual power port is the same one that did my spinal tap today. I'm not sure if I'm starting to develop scar tissue from the five spinal taps I've had or what but wow, the one I had today hurt pretty gosh darn bad and I'm still having a pretty good amount of pain from it. I have to have more lidocaine than the average person and they know that. But today I felt like I was about to climb the walls because the shots were not numbing my back very well. I will be having another spinal in a few weeks and I hope that one goes smoother. Afterwards they took me to recovery and I had to lay still and rest on my back for an hour. I felt fine and after that hour Justin and I left the hospital.

Tonight Aly had her tap dance class and she had to dress up in her full costume for her upcoming recital. She's going to be a duckling "or as the song goes, I'm a baby quack quack..." and she looked adorable! I'm so glad she loves the class and I'm so glad I went tonight and watched her. It was watch week and my counts are good enough right now so I didn't need to worry so much being around the crowd. Her recital is coming up so quick!

I'm posting a picture from her class tonight of her dressed up but I'm watermarking the picture. I got an
e-mail the other day on here about someone trying to copy one of my pictures on here. I don't care if family or friends copy my pictures because I know it's with good intentions but I don't want to chance someone I don't know "stealing" pictures of my kids. It's something that happens more than you'd like to think. I could make my blog private so only certain people could read it but that's not something I'm wanting to do. So if you like a picture on here just let me know and I can send it to you without the watermark. : )

But I thought this picture was pretty precious!






Tomorrow morning I have to be back at Methodist for two bags of blood and hopefully I'll get some energy back soon. I had a really good weekend and got a lot accomplished that I wanted to but I'm definitely feeling drained now.

Off to bed.

   

Kim