Finally...A Post.

   I've been wanting to sit down and do this for quite awhile now. Actually, since I was initially diagnosed on December 8, 2010. The day I felt like my entire world came crashing down on me. There are so many things I cannot remember from that time that I feel like I am purposely blocking out because of all the "scary" memories that came with it all. I still to this day don't remember every single procedure I went thru while in the hospital. I know someday though I will want to look back on things and somedays I know I won't want anything to do with any of this. I definitely have my rough days but it's expected and I know that. This blog is for me to let out my thoughts, fears, and frustrations.

Right now I am sitting in bed with my laptop and telling myself I need to get to sleep. I've had a long day and definitely feeling drained. I met with my nurse practioner and she was very pleased at how well I am handling all of this. She said my hemoglobin and white counts have dropped but it is completely expected at this point. I had chemo today and it lasted 2 1/2 hours. Laura Hertz did mention she talked to my oncologist, Dr. Vukov (whom are both great and make me feel very comfortable!), and he said he wants me back in on Friday morning for a cbc to check my counts and might hold off chemo that day and just give me a shot to increase my white count. Tomorrow will be another long day of chemo, about 3 hours is expected. With my counts dropping I'm so nervous about getting sick, I definitely am catching every little thing right now which is also totally expected. A mask, Dial soap, and Purell seem to be very close by me at all times right now. : )

I'm taking this all one day at a time. I have rough days where I want to stay in bed and cry and feel sorry for myself. But I cannot. I have so many people that need me and love me and I know that. I need to be strong and I know I AM strong. I'm in remission and that is what matters!

 That's all for tonight. Off to bed.