How things change...

 
    I used to drink Pepsi. That was the only soda that I really liked and that tasted good to me. Now I can't stand it for anything and have converted to being a Diet Pepsi drinker. My taste buds have really changed since starting chemo in December. Funny how things change, huh?

 It's a chilly and just overall gloomy day outside today. And so is my mood. I'm just feeling a little crummy. Yesterday it was gorgeous out and I was in great spirits.

Right now I'm sitting in the treatment room by myself. This room is large and has 16 chairs for patients to sit out in the open for chemotherapy. This is one of 4 pods for treatment. Everything you've seen in movies or tv shows with patients sitting out in the open for therapy together is definitely true here. Somedays this room is full of iv polls and patients. A lady was in here earlier for treatment and she recognized me from when she was here one day last week and she sat down by me and we talked for a bit. Guess that says I'm here quite a bit. Oh, and the receptionists and nurses all recognize me and know me by name. Oh well, whatever keeps me in remission.

 I had a rough morning this morning. Aly has been especially clingy to me lately and I don't mind it one bit. But this morning she was not in a very good mood and just wouldn't listen to me for anything. She didn't want to wear the clothes I had picked out for her or eat her breakfast. All she wanted to do was sit in my lap but I knew Justin had to get her and Connor off to daycare and get to work himself. So Aly left screaming and crying and it was just hard seeing her that way and starting all of our day off like that. I'm ready to get out of here for the day and for Justin to get off work and to pick the kids up and bring them home. I miss them all so much today.

I've had treatment all week and I always look so much forward to Friday nights. We usually do a quick and easy dinner and just relax. We really never have an exact idea on how my counts will be so we just stay home and take it easy together. Instead of having chemo tomorrow though it sounds like I will instead be having a blood drawl from my power port and then most likely be given a shot called Neupogen to stimulate a rapid increase in my white blood counts. From a few different nurses here they say it really works well but causes quite a bit of bone pain for a few days. Great, just what I needed to hear. They told this to the person that sees a needle and almost passes out. Can't be anything compared to the two bone marrow biopsies I've had done though. If only they could give it to me thru my port...haha, now that's an idea! : ) Hopefully this will work good and give me some energy back. Friday nights are always my best day it seems, and then it seems like the rest of the weekend is kinda rough on me and just seems like from having treatment all week that then is when it all catches up to me.

 The neuropathy in my hands and feet has been especially bad this week. All that seems to really help with it are ice packs. As soon as I lay down I put an ice bag on my feet. Definitely helps with the tingling and burning sensation. Then I'll sleep all night with it. I love this ice bag so much that Justin found a few more just like it and ordered them for me offline.

I have about a half hour left and then heading home. Hopefully before the rain starts...


   Kim