Thoughts...

    I'm always terrible at coming up with titles for my blog posts...



    The radiation has been put on hold for a couple of weeks.

 I went in and had bloodwork done today and met with my oncologist to have him answer some of my questions regarding this upcoming radiation. I told him exactly what was on my mind and all my worries/fears about having it done and we talked about all the risks involved. He reassured me and also told me he wants to put this radiation on hold for now and wants for me to meet back up with the radiation oncologist at Methodist, Dr. Carpenter, and have him go over things better for me before starting it up. So instead of going in tomorrow morning for my appointment for the Cat scan and to have the mask made and marked I'll be scheduling another meeting with Dr. Carpenter.

Dr. V did answer most of my questions but he did tell me he doesn't have all the specific answers I need and that is why he wants me to wait until I meet back up with Dr. Carpenter again. Another reason is because since I was originally supposed to start this up next Monday and my new round of chemo is supposed to start this coming Tuesday which includes Methotrexate orally, Vincristine, and then a spinal tap with Methotrexate also - he said he considers all that more important than the radiation right at this time and doesn't want me to miss that. And with the Methotrexate I'll need a little bit of time for it clear out of my system or could have some nasty side effects. So now it looks like it will be around the first of November before starting.


Tonight Aly had tap and tumbling. She did so good! I loved watching her! Justin has been taking her because lately by the time her class starts I'm just exhausted. But tonight was watch week and I'm so glad I went and watched, and Justin's Parents went with also while he stayed home with Connor.





Aly brought my Mom up tonight just out of the blue...she told me she wanted to go spend the night at MeMaw's house. And it hit me, hard. I wasn't expecting it and just didn't know what to say...  I asked her where MeMaw was at and she told me that she went to Heaven because she had too many boo boo's and that they just weren't getting better. Oh goodness...  My sweet girl.

My sweet 4 year old that just is too young to understand.

I've had a decent couple of days but I'm missing my Mom so much tonight. We went to Bloomington this last Thursday and I went to my Mom's grave for the first time since her funeral. It was so rough. I took a beautiful bouquet of flowers that I know she would have loved and one pink and one blue balloon from each of the kids and tied it on to the bouquet. I talked and cried and talked some more...but it's not the same.

I miss her.